Child Abuse: Why It Happened and How to Help
When I was a teenager, a very sweet friend of mine told me a shocking story. She shared her deepest secret while showing me some bruises on her arms and legs. She had been abused by her father.
Every time she did something that her father disliked, she got bitten. Her father claimed that all he did was just to punish her so that she didn’t do the same ‘mistake’ anymore.
But, hey, punishment wouldn’t cause injury for it is done, actually, with love.
She asked me not to share this with anyone else. As much as I wanted to help her, I couldn’t do anything but letting her use my shoulder to cry on. She moved out of the house a year later. She even moved to another city. I don’t know how or where she is, now. I hope she can forget that sad part of life and move on with her life.
But why parents abuse their children? According to my readings, the causes could be:
- Stress, including the stress of caring for children, or the stress of caring for a child with a disability, special needs, or difficult behaviors.
- Lack of nurturing qualities necessary for caring for a child.
- Difficulty controlling anger.
- Personal history of being abused.
- Isolation from the family or community.
- Physical or mental health problems, such as depression and anxiety.
- Alcohol or drug abuse.
- Personal problems such as marital conflict, unemployment, or financial difficulties.
I think, for my friend’s case, it was her father’s alcohol issue.
But, how can you help those children?
Contact your local enforcement agency. No need to worry about your own safety. You do not have to give your name when you report child abuse. The child abuser cannot find out who made the report of child abuse.
Act now, and save those children’s life.
April 9th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
I know that situation all to well. But my father was just an ass. Who knows what was really wrong with him. My mom just left him and he didn’t get much of a punishment.
It’s really sad when a parent has to take everything they have going wrong on a child. I will never be that way with my son.
April 10th, 2007 at 10:26 am
I’m sorry to hear that.
But I’m happy that it makes you have a very strong will to be a good parent.
*hugs*
April 11th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
oh, such a sad story.
I like your discussion on the subject, and agree that stress is a major factor. my husband recently started getting really angry with the eldest, not to the point of hitting, but the anger is there for the slightest things. I believe in nipping at the bud, so I call him on it and now he’s trying to control the anger, but since he was always the patient parent, i know it’s the added stress of his demanding job/money issues with me quitting mine… just everything.
I sometimes make it worse because I don’t like to see him get so angry with the kids, and I argue with him in front of them!! i know, i know… NOT a good idea, it’s a new development and I suspect it will calm down as soon as we get settled in our new way of life… I hope. I think the key is to recognise that there is a problem!
April 16th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
Have you read the books by Dave Pelzer, “A Child Called It” and the 2 that follow? The books tell a very sad, but true story about this man’s childhood filled with severe child abuse and his struggles to survive and to later make something of himself. He’s quite active in speaking out against child abuse now, as an adult. The books are really good to read!
Great post you’ve written.
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