Do’s and Don’ts of Step Parenting?
Lacey G asked:
I’m interested in getting a child’s perspective on this.
If, as a child, you grew up with a step parent, what would be your list of “do’s” and “don’ts for a new step parent?
3 Responses to “Do’s and Don’ts of Step Parenting?”
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February 12th, 2008 00:52
I grew up in a step parent environment and I would have to say the major donts are dont be nice to me until you marry my dad. Be yourself.
February 14th, 2008 12:43
I have had 2 step parents on both sides and the best advice I can give is to be their friend and not to try and replace their biological parents. Be there for them and love them like they were your own as small children it will flow great when they become teens they usually get defiant but as being a young adult here in the present I appreciate my step parents and what they’ve done for me. Not as just parents but being a friend when I needed one too. Good Luck
February 16th, 2008 09:22
Remember that if you become a step parent to a child who is older than the age of two, you most likely will never be a disciplinary influence (see Dr. Phil). Do not discipline without discussing it with your spouse.
Do treat them with respect and remember that they did not ask for a new parent; there will be adjustment.
Respect is earned, don’t expect them to fall all over you just because you married one of their parents. If they are disrespectful to you, you and your spouse should sit down with them and tell them that they don’t have to like you, but they will, at the least, be respectful of you. If they refuse to speak to you, behave as you always do.
Don’t talk badly about your stepchildren’s other parent. Ever.
Even if it’s deserved.
Don’t get put in the middle. If they say “my mom lets me do this”, discuss this with your spouse and come up with house rules to be followed while they live with you.
Don’t push a relationship if they are resistant. Just be yourself and in time, they will come around.
Do let them know that you understand that this is a new situation for everyone and you’re there to help if you can. You are now family, you love their parent and you love them.
Don’t ever compare them to your own children.
Good luck.