Advice about step-parenting after bitter divorce & remarriage?
Hoosier Mom asked:
14 mo. old boy (mine), step-mom to 6, 9, and 13 year old boys - bio Mom *very* angry at my husby, who used to be her husby. Kids have ADHD, oldest Asperger’s, very difficult to deal with and worse since divorce and her recent (about six months give or take) decision to not supervise and/or discipline boys, though we all love boys dearly. No hope of getting physical custody at moment, though may be over time. Any advice on how to get through this stressful time with the boys, my husby, and myself, while still keeping sane? Already doing the usual - not saying anything bad about bio Mom, showing and telling boys we love them, spending as much time as possible with boys, doing something about bio Mom where we can and hoping time will take care of what we can’t control at moment. Husby and I agree on discipline and are about 50/50 with it, which boys accept well, but still lots of problems including concerns about bio Mom, and lots of tantrums, lying and stealing by boys.
February 12th, 2008 18:06
Honey, I am going through almost same problem- Y’all just have to work together or it will not better. You could try counseling through their school, but again all of the parents have to work together. Good Luck and GOD bless!
February 14th, 2008 22:33
It’s going to be near impossible if Mom lets her hate override what is best for the boys. For your part, continue to be respectful to the mom (no matter how hard that is going to be). With the kids, the key is going to be patience. They’re going to act up, that’s a given. Eventually they will grow up enough to see which side is hateful and which is not. Good luck to all of you.