SleeplessSuz asked:

Why is it so hard? And how to make it easier. I have a 12 year old stepdaughter who I’ve known since she was 6. She lives with us and visits her mom every other weekend. Her dad was in Iraq for a year and I cared for her during that time. This has killed our relationship, with me having to make and enforce rules. Even though her Dad is home now, my relationship with my step daughter just seems to have so much resentment. How can it be repaired?

zoe_southernusa asked:

Yes I know couples fight over parenting styles, limit setting, out of control, disrespect step-kids (minor and adult). But is it outrageous or crazy for a couple to divorce because of these problems? Like if a couple has been reasonably happy with no kids for 10 yrs then 7 months after getting custody of 4 of the bio parent’s kids it becomes clear that they are all rude and respectful to the stepparent, the bio parent’s style of parenting is basically to let them do as they please (examples: teen kids backtalk and disrespect step parent daily, 20 yr old makes $250 a week in a job but bio parent refuses to have him pay any bills in home or even buy his own food). Bio parent very rarely corrects them for disrespect to the stepparent, etc. Would it be considered unheard of or silly for the step-parent to leave this 10yr relationship and seek divorce due mostly to these problems or is this a common reason for divorce?

Hoosier Mom asked:

* Note: Posted in parenting but got 2 responses - looking for practical advice, know we need to work together but bio Mom not ok w/that

14 mo. old boy (mine), step-mom to 6, 9, and 13 year old boys - bio Mom *very* angry at my husby, who used to be her husby. Kids have ADHD, oldest Asperger’s, very difficult to deal with and worse since divorce and her recent (about six months give or take) decision to not supervise and/or discipline boys, though we all love boys dearly. No hope of getting physical custody at moment, though may be over time. Any advice on how to get through this stressful time with the boys, my husby, and myself, while still keeping sane? Already doing the usual - not saying anything bad about bio Mom, showing and telling boys we love them, spending as much time as possible with boys, doing something about bio Mom where we can and hoping time will take care of what we can’t control at moment. Husby and I agree on discipline and are about 50/50 with it, which boys accept well, but still lots of problems including concerns about bio Mom, and lots of tantrums, lying and stealing by boys.

Queen-Bee asked:

i have 18month old girl, she is my angel.
my new ,man of 3 months told me that he doesnt know what to do, because no matter how hard he tries, she will never be his daughter.

what are your opinions, experiences ect. about step parenting.

i understand that it is hard for him- but it is also hard for us girls too.

he wants to fall in love with ‘me’ as a person, not as a mum or whatever.

i am confused as to how he is feeling..

i do love him, but havent told him.. everytime i go to, he does something that makes me back away.

help.

i know he wont replace my girls dad, but he doesnt think he will get any respect or enough love like a ‘real’ dad does…
hang on… he loves her.. is very good with her..
he is scared that she wont love him back..

she does love him, but sometimes hits him or wont hug him when he asks..

Kyle B asked:

Okay, my husband has 2 children who I have been raising for the past 5 years. They are now 7 and 8. He and I have always had our problems - we’re best friends yet worse enemies. I’ve done my best at dealing with them (I’ve NEVER been around children so I was clueless and only 22 when I came into the picture) but when we would argue and be on the verge of splitting I would ask him if I could still at least see them and he would tell me I’d never see them again. So, over time I’ve naturally distanted myself. To make matters worse, in the past year things have really gone down hill - especially since I became pregnant (I’m due any day now). He and I have two totally different ways of parenting. I’m more strict and would prefer a firm set of rules - he doesn’t let them run wild but often I will sit the two kids down and say “Okay, we’re having a problem with this (a certain issue), if you do this again, TV is gone for one day (or something)” and I would make sure they understood it
Well, the time would come when they would break the rule and I would say “Okay, I’m sorry but you know the rule” and I would enforce the set punishment and SO often he would come and say “That’s too harsh” and would undermind me. He does this ALL the time!! If he doesn’t like my tone with them, he’ll correct me in front of them! Well, it’s gotten to where they disrespect me and know he’ll usually back them up and sad to say, I’ve come to resent them for this because I feel like I have no control anymore. And it’s caused even worse problems with our marriage. I have built up nothing but resentment towards all three of them now and I’m angry about it!! And I feel like he puts them first always. So, considering I’m basically the only mother they know and my marriage is in shambles. Don’t you think he and I need to seek counseling and fix the marriage FIRST before we can be able to work on the children as a family? It seems to me that we should be stable before we can raise them?

katydid asked:

There are so many of us dealing with blended families. There’s the step child, there’s the custodial parent, there’s the non custodial parent, there’s so many good reasons for this category. How could we get one?

pedidoc43 asked:

I have two biological children ( an 8 year old aactive boy and a 12 yearold very independant girl)that currently live with their mother. I am recently remaaried and when my children come to visit- my new wife ( we were married September 1st) and them fight almost all the time. Any ideas- any other step parents out there?

maxine553 asked:

maxine553
Level 2
step parenting issues?
if your a step parent dealing with issues, go to geocities.com/parentingsteps (parentingsteps) for help advice or other, we also offer a e-mail group. hope to see you there